Would You Climb Aboard the Mayflower Today?

Or are you too ckicken?

First let me say I am in no way instigating a political or religious argument.  Read this post in the hypothetical context that you fear America is being taken over again by right or left wing freaks, or little green men from a nudist colony on Saturn.   Either way, keep your reasons for contemplating boarding the Mayflower in your own festering colon.  NO dumping here.

Mayflower Cruises 2010

Book your future TODAY!

The promise of a new world awaits you.  A semi-uninhabited, fertile land of opportunity free of (insert your complaint here) persecution.  Those who dare to set sail on the Mayflower 2010 will be the master designers of a new government by the people.  Freedom to the fullest extent….

A land also free of shopping centers, Starbucks, DVR-able satellite TV, microwaveable easy mac, bottled water, indoor plumbing, Raid roach-killer, police assistance, pay-at-the-pump (oh hell, CARS TOO!), 24/hr Walgreens pharmacy, toilet paper, Corona, central air/heat, Macy’s Red Apple Sales,  disposable diapers, already dead and neatly packaged deli selections, Baskin Robbins, Coke Zero, cell phone reception……

Can you hear me now?

Now stop your complaining and be positively grateful this Thanksgiving.   We should all be thankful for our super-sized asses, toilets to sit them on, paper to wipe them with, and the technology to flush it away!

Happy Thanksgiving America!     

 

(This post is loosely based on Mama Kat’s writer’s workshop prompt: “Describe a memorable Thanksgiving”  or “What Thanksgiving Means to Me”.  OK, so I made up my own prompt……and I’m thankful for my ability to do so!)

Mama's Losin' It

(…and for those with Thankful Photos with lots to say with too much food in their mouth…link up at: Parenting by Dummies)

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5 Responses to Would You Climb Aboard the Mayflower Today?
  1. Jen
    November 24, 2010 | 6:58 pm

    You are just too awesome for words sometime. :)
    Jen recently posted..The Deer Whisperer

  2. Grace @ Arms Wide Open
    November 25, 2010 | 7:36 am

    Ha! This is so true!
    Grace @ Arms Wide Open recently posted..dont worry too much about us

  3. Jennifer G.
    November 25, 2010 | 7:40 am

    This post is hilarious! I’m following your blog now. Happy Thanksgiving!

  4. Valerie
    November 25, 2010 | 8:55 am

    Well said! I couldn’t agree more (but my mouth is full of Doritos!)
    Happy Thanksgiving!
    Valerie recently posted..Supercilious in Seattle

  5. Shell
    November 27, 2010 | 12:52 pm

    So very true! We really do have a lot!
    Shell recently posted..Stocking Stuffer Weekend- Softlips Review and Giveaway

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