This is my Child on Prednisone

The midget triplet is about to start a round of Prednisone as a last ditch effort to prevent another set of tubes in his poor scarred inner ears.  As the doc was writing out the prescription today I couldn’t help but think about my last dealings with this poison drug.  And this post came to mind.  Which I’d like to bring back to your minds

  I mean I’m glad he’s breathing and all.  That croup he gets too often scares me to death.  But I will admit I check a complete Apgar score before dosing him up on this medicine.  Medicine that must be the basis for the story of Jekyl and Hyde.

He’s always been little Adolph difficult.  But it’s the third day of prednisone and I don’t know who’s twitching more, me or him?  No one has He hasn’t slept in three days.  Just when I think he’s down for the count he comes running down the hall like a screaming banshee, sweated down, eyes popping and foaming at the mouth.

“I hungry!”  He shouts.  “I can’t want to eat that,” he sobs as I place a toddler’s buffet of  yummy crap before him!

He “can’t want” to do anything!  But he “want to do humfen” (something)!

“NOOO!”  He “not sweepy!”

He wants an apple, but “not pee-wel it!”  I don’t peel it.  “I can’t eat this apple! Waaaagggghhhh!!!”

Hubs and I returned him to his bed no less than three times last night.  Where he stayed just long enough for us to slink back down the hall, slither under the covers and drift back off…….only to barely pinch off pissing in the bed when a door SLAMMED!  And a rabid troll he was back setting off Hub’s alarm clock as he played Morse code with the buttons.  I grabbed him up, flipped him onto my pillow, and held him in my best UFC submission hold until he passed out for good.  In our bed.  For the rest of my sleepless night.

Despite it all Hubs was actually early to work today.  Early by the one hour the Prednisoned Perpetrator set the clock forward.

A minor setback for his day.   I made 6 different lunches today (3 for the same little person), faced a thunderstorm to get to an ice cream shop, watched disgusting rats twirl on a wheel and searched for Nemo in every tank at a pet store, read 37 kids books, rocked and sang myself no one to sleep and still got my ass chewed out by a 2 year old at least 7 times!

I’d start one of those commercials asking for…. “victims of Prednisone, please call the number on your screen.  You could be owed compensation for your suffering due to the crippling effects unleashed upon you by those it is prescribed.  If you or a loved one have suffered the savage torment of a child on Prednisone CALL NOW!

1-800-Prednisone-Patsies!