There are no words to describe the frustration of having to wait a whopping 47 seconds for a new page to load on my laptop at 2:00 in the afternoon. Thus I have declared her (yes she’s a she) constipated and therefore in dire need of an enema!
A good cleansing enema to flush out the Kagillion temporary Internet files, cookie bits, and SPAM! After which she will then need to be purged of an Oobaskillion(a number yet to be invented) of photos and videos which I have carelessly stored to her hard-drive. And so she is impacted, and this will require manual evacuation.
Do you have a disturbing mental image yet?
But why stop with the computer? I thought about some other areas that could use a good wringing out. For instance….
My Closet
The Driver’s Side Door of My Car
(..at least I didn’t throw it out the window, right?)
This Drawer
(I wouldn’t dare open it to show you. I currently don’t have the time to get it re-shut.)
….And My Left Sinuses
I’ll spare you that picture since my sinuses and my left ear are filled with that stuff dropped on kid’s heads on Nickelodeon’s “You Can’t do That on Television.” (good show! you remember?) I make this really good Nyquil/Amoxicillin cocktail* if anyone is interested…
**
*I do not currently, nor have ever, nor have plans to ever–push, sell, mix, produce, grow, disperse, instruct, give, or receive illegal substances, including those manufactured from the perfectly good OTC medications capable of knocking you on your a*s without dabbling in their make-up.
**If you are experiencing irregularity, for real. Ummmmm…go buy some Activa (works for my 2 yr old), try some fiber or prune juice, or beer and hot wings. But keep that all to yourself and out of my comment box. Thanks.
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that first imagine is the best ever!
Jen recently posted..How Little Boys Make Paint
the side of your car door looks like mine.
Hilarious! My car looks like that too!
Wanted to thank you for stopping by my blog and becoming a new follower. I’m returning the favor! =]
I’m coming back to tell you I left something for you on my blog! =]
Veronica recently posted..My 15 minutes of fame
What a great blog you have. You really should think about writing for a living….of course, where would you find the time.
By the way, the pocket in my car looks almost like yours.
You are too sweet! I’d love to write for a living, problem is finding someone to write the paycheck! Thanks for stopping by, come back!
This was SO funny! I need a mental enema…nasty visual, but I have a lot of things to work out mentally. Like yesterday. Nevermind that I also can’t park in my garage…
Alana Morales recently posted..Week In Review – The Late Edition
“..a mental enema” LOL OUCH!! But actually that might feel good…hmmmmm
Hey Jen, my computer has had similar loading issues…super slow. It can be frustrating.
I just loaded Google Chrome as my new internet browser and I am glad to say my internet is not stopped up anymore-it’s so much quicker loading. I love it.
Just thought I’d let you know about it if you haven’t tried it already.
Liz recently posted..New Header & Blog Button
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