Spring and all its freakin’ pollen are torturing me! I woke this morning in a puddle of drool. My unconscious body was willing itself not to swallow in fear of pain. Pain like an electrical current that begins in the back of my mouth and travels through my enlarged left tonsil then into my pulsating left ear. My left tonsil literally feels like an Easter Egg gone astray.
I’m on my third cup of coffee trying to douse one flame with another. I may begin to vibrate at anytime. At least I’ll get a lot done today. Maybe. But I will have heartburn soon.
I spose I could try some allergy medicine. But I don’t have allergies. At least not according to the Allergy Specialist I let stick me with 42 needles last month. 42 individual jabs with syringes loaded with the most likely allergens. And they were all stuck in the same arm. It was the most fun I’d had since my last stomach flu.
Nothing. I’m allergic to nothing. But so far this year I have had more sinus and throat trouble than in all my previous….umm…undisclosed number of years. If I spend more than 30 minutes outdoors my throat begins to tighten and ache sending pain shooting into my left ear. Always my left! Even yawning is painful. But I’m not allergic to anything. Really?
The unseasonably dry Spring air is like a gumbo of pollen, pollution, and little league dirt.
Can’t imagine what this gunk is doing to our poor lungs cause I can’t imagine those nose hairs and tonsils are able to keep it all out? Spring is all about birth and I’m afraid that the egg in my throat may hatch into something I don’t want to keep!
As you know though, I don’t generally take medications unless bleeding from the eyes and held at gunpoint. I need a reason. If I don’t have allergies, what is Claritin or Singulair going to do for me? I have popped a few Advil in the past few weeks to decrease my Easter swelling. Between that and the coffee I should have a nice sized stomach ulcer soon. And I guess the pain from that will help me stop eating and get into my summer beach body in no time.
There. I’ve killed two birds with one egg!