Confessions of a Deranged Momma Queen

This post is in response to Mama Kat’s writer’s workshop prompt:  “Your Confessions”. Want to Confess too?  Link up at:

1. Sometimes, when the boys are sleeping and no one is around to whine about it, I throw away toys I’m tired of looking at.  You know, like the prized Halloween glow in the dark witches finger, or the cheap imitation hot-wheels that crunch like a monster truck victim under my feet!

*Disclaimer:  The boys never know they are gone,

 and I don’t chunk the ones that might be worth anything.

 Those get a dusty seat in the Goodwill box.  This same rule applies to

the art display that is my fridge.

2.I often forget to brush my 2 year old’s teeth.  OK.  So I don’t forget.  It’s like trying to put a leash on a fruit fly!  It ain’t happnin’!

*Disclaimer:  He’s going to get another set, right?  I do get a few brushes

 in a week. Maybe only 1 tooth, and half the paste ends up onthe mirror

or in my hair, but we git er dun!  And if you’ve ever leashed a fly,

I don’t really give a damn.

3.  I love to watch those ridiculous little beauty queens on WE and TLC. I find their mother’s quite entertaining.  Especially when they are in tears because they don’t understand why their spray painted, dentured, wigged, and fly covered, spoiled rotten, little jezebel didn’t win for her pole dancing routine she did dressed as a showgirl.

*Disclaimer:  Yes.  I entered pageants of my own free will as a teenager.

With all natural accessories.  Probably why I didn’t get to far.

4.  I spent an obscene amount of money to find a husband.  Ok, I also learned a few skills I could use to make good money in the medical profession; if they hadn’t leaked from my brain during the delivery of my twins.

*Disclaimer:  Truth is, even if I could remember my bed side manner

I don’t really want to go back to work.  Not even if it would

 afford me a pedicure a week, an MTV crib, and a

wardrobe fit for Sarah Jessica Parker.  Cause my current position finds me

 irreplaceable.  No one can compare.  

5.We have wanted to sell our house and move closer to the boys school for a while.  And now that we might have a potential buyer I kind of don’t want it to sell.  I mean, its practically the holidays people!  NOW you want to buy it!  Where were you last month when I had nothing better to do than pack up my nick nacks and chunk some more toys during the closet clean-outs!  Noooo! Wait till I have things to bake, family to visit, trees to trim, traditions to keep up!!

*Disclaimer:  If they offer anywhere near our asking price, we’d be insane

 not to accept with the way the housing market

 is chitty chitty bang bangin’ along.  “Look kids! 

 Santa brought you a new house for Christmas!  Don’t

 ask me where your stocking is.  Look.  Use Daddy’s thermal socks.

  Ya, over there next to the Goodwill box.”